Caleb May

Caleb Francis May took his second and final ride on Thursday, July 9 through the gates of heaven.

It's hard to put into words how much Caleb was loved. He was created with purpose. He was very spirited and happy. He taught everyone around him patience and filled our lives with joy. For eleven years now he endured pain, invasive surgeries, seizures, physical therapy, and having to live away from his family.

As a nearly 3 year old, Caleb was a healthy, happy, rambunctious boy who loved tractor rides with his Papa, and playing with his siblings and cousins. He was always tinkering on cars, playing ball and snuggling up to read stories with his dad, Steve. He was a future car man and the best tool grabber for his dad! He was full of life and energy. One of his most favorite things in the world was horses! His love for horses earned him his nickname, "Cowboy Caleb". His favorite movie was Spirit and at 2 years old, he could quote nearly every line from the movie verbatim.

He was a creative problem solver. He was advanced for his age, not only by the growth charts but also in intelligence. He met all of his developmental milestones ahead of schedule. His aunt Rhonda will tell you he spoke her name, “Donda” at six months old and that’s a verifiable fact! He was so smart, in fact, that when he visited family in California he intentionally called them "Sarah and Brian" to tease them -- then giggle hysterically knowing it was Mary and Zach.

His family is thankful that he was able to experience the Pacific Ocean. Even at such a young age, his eyes grew big and he gasped looking out from the lighthouse platform gazing out over the cliffs onto the ocean. He had adventure in his soul.

Nearly 3 years old, Caleb was dropped off at day care on December 31, 2008 while his mom went to work. While in the care of his day care provider, Caleb experienced a prolonged respiratory and cardiac arrest. He was pronounced dead and the doctor left the trauma room to inform his family. Staff began preparing Caleb's body to be transported to a funeral home when his heart suddenly began beating again. The staff came in and interrupted the doctor to explain air care had been called. Caleb was life flighted to the University of Iowa Hospital where he would spend his third birthday in an unresponsive coma state. After Caleb’s experience, we prayed that there would be another miracle - that he would recover and we would get our boy back. He is a fighter.

No child should have to go through this. No parent should have to go through this. We pray that there can finally be peace for him and for his whole family.

Today, his family is motivated to create legislative change to honor him in his death. It is the hope of his family that others will not experience the pain Caleb and his family have experienced over the last eleven years of his life. Currently, a certified home daycare provider is not required to disclose to current or potential clients that a child was seriously hurt or injured under their care. In addition, a certified in-home day care provider is not required to be certified in basic life-saving skills, like CPR or even first aid. Living in rural Iowa limits parents’ choices for childcare. Had these requirements been in place, Caleb could still be with us today.

Caleb lost everything that day. After being a prisoner in his own body for eleven years, he was able to peacefully pass away surrounded by people who love him deeply.

When those close to Caleb reflect on his life post-injury they are extremely grateful to have been a part of his care. Caring for Caleb has brought attention to the many children that have suffered terrible, unthinkable injuries under a daycare provider's care. His life and death serve as a reminder of how abysmal the current guidelines for in home daycare are in this state.

Children deserve better, Caleb deserved better. We as Caleb’s family demand justice. We demand justice for him, and justice for all other children who have suffered due to bad policy.

In the words of his momma: "I’ve heard of the unbreakable bond between a mother and her son. There’s nothing quite like a mother’s love. Caleb was no doubt a mama’s boy but the truth of the matter is that I was a boy’s mama. I fell in love and was wrapped around his finger from the time he was born. He kept me on my toes every day of his life. He always wanted to go somewhere and visit friends and family. He was especially fond of his cousins. We loved putting on concerts in the car, just the two of us, belting out every word to the Beyoncé phase we were in. I experienced pure love and happiness through him. I dreamed of what kind of man he would grow into. I have no doubt I would have raised a man, one hell of a man, just like my dad. It’s hard to put into words my feelings of the journey the two of us experienced together. The son that I knew died December 31, 2008. I have mourned the dreams, hopes, likes, and loves. I am now mourning again. But this time, I have peace knowing that he is no longer a prisoner of his body. Fly high, my Cowboy angel. Until we meet again. As Caleb would say, “I’ll be right back, two minutes mom!”"

Caleb was preceded in death by his grandpa "Papa Bob" Maher.

Caleb is survived on the Maher side of his family by his Mom (Libby), brother (Breccan), sister (Evanna) of Winterset Iowa. Grandma (Vicki) Maher of Toronto Iowa, aunt Melissa (Darrell, Dereka, Jayme, Alyssa, Katie and Mia) Koch of Delmar Iowa, aunt Rhonda (Dana, Nina and Xavier) Cray of Buffalo New York, aunt Sarah (Rob, Kaylie and Jennah) Edwards of Flower Mound Texas, and his aunt Mary (Zach and Mason) Timmerman of Novato California.

Caleb is survived on the May side of his family by his Dad (Steve), step-mom (Jodi), sisters (Elise, Lily and Evie) May of Davenport Iowa. His Grandma (Jenny) Swan of DeWitt Iowa, grandpa (Rod) May of Bettendorf Iowa. Uncle (Eric) May of Des Moines Iowa, uncle (Brian) May of Davenport Iowa, and aunt Renee (cousin Marshall) of Calamus Iowa.

Visitation will be held from 4:00 to 6:00 p.m. on Monday, July 13, 2020 at Hamilton’s near Highland Memory Gardens, 121 NW 60th Avenue, Des Moines. A graveside service will be held at 9:30 a.m. Tuesday at St. James Catholic Cemetery in Toronto, Iowa.

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