Amy Jolene Elder
December 03, 1966 — July 08, 2025
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Service Details
Amy Jolene Elder, 58, passed away after a short but courageous battle with cancer, at Kavanaugh House in Des Moines, Iowa on July 8, 2025.
She was born to Alan and Diane Elder in Ames, Iowa on December 3, 1966, the youngest of four girls.
Amy attended Valley High School and Northwest Missouri State. She worked as a Claims Adjuster for Farmers Casualty Insurance before leaving to care for her companion, Todd Tonelli, a quadriplegic following a car accident in 2005. Amy devoted her life to selflessly caring for Todd until his death in 2022.
Amy loved stand-up comedy, animals, gardening, music and fishing. She loved her family and friends and was exceptionally kind to everyone. She faced many challenges in her life but stood up to each one and made the best of each situation. The world was a better place for Amy having been here and she will be greatly missed by all whose lives she touched.
Amy is survived by her sisters, Julie Elder (Marsha Moothart), Jodi Cato (Don), and Elizabeth James; nephews, Tyler Ollerich, Zac Ollerich (Jessica), and D. J. Frunzar (Jessica); her aunt Deborah Fitzgerald Sealine (Eric); and several cousins and friends she adored.
A gathering will be held on July 18, 2025 from 6:00 to 8:00 p.m., with a Celebration of Life service at 7:00 p.m. at Hamilton’s on Westown Parkway, 3601 Westown Parkway, West Des Moines, Iowa. Burial of her cremated remains will be at a later date.
In lieu of flowers, memorial contributions may be directed to the family for disbursement to Amy’s favorite charities. Condolences may be expressed at www.HamiltonsFuneralHome.com.
Ann (Will) Zenti
07/18/2025
To my beautiful friend Amy,
I’ve been thinking a lot about our high school days lately, and it’s hard to put into words just how much you meant to me during that time—and still do. As life continued to pull us in different directions, I wanted to take a moment to say goodbye in a way that honors everything we shared.
You were more than just a friend back then—you were a bright light in my life. I’ll never forget how much we laughed, sometimes until our stomachs hurt and tears rolled down our faces. Those memories are stitched into my heart, full of joy, inside jokes, and that beautiful kind of carefree happiness that only comes with youth and genuine connection.
What I loved most about you wasn’t just your sense of humor or how fun you were to be around—it was your heart. You were one of the kindest people I’ve ever known. You always showed up for others, always offered a smile, a hug, a kind word—often when people needed it most. You had a heart of pure gold.
Thank you for being you. Thank you for the laughter, the kindness, and the love you gave so freely. Until we meet again my friend. I will miss you.
With love and gratitude,
Ann (Will) Zenti
Terri Ontiveroz
07/17/2025
Rest in Heaven sweet Amy. I just tried to call you on Tuesday and when I learned of your passing, my heart broke. I'll always remember you and Todd together and hoping you are both at peace now ❤️🙏❤️
Vaneise Tonelli McWherter
07/16/2025
NO NO NO, OMG OMG I can not believe this has happened. I was thinking about her just yesterday. Thinking I've gotta go see her and have ourselves a visit, or maybe lunch. The last time I saw Amy, her sister Julie, Amy and I went and had lunch and spent what seemed like hours talking, laughing and telling stories. We had ourselves a good old time.
I know how hard she worked to take care of my cousin Todd Tonelli and I was really proud of the way she took and ran with that ball, so to speak, after his car crash.
I just can't believe Amy is gone. I know it's a loss for a lot of us.
Vaneise Tonelli McWherter